Musings of a Weary Man

Musings of a Weary Man

Written by Dan McDonald

 

            Perhaps I have too many irons in the fire. Or is it too little discipline and too easily distracted? Whatever the reason I am looking forward to a two week vacation where I get to push the reset button.

            Sometimes I view myself as a writer. To be sure I enjoy writing. But a true writer is someone who considers the craft of writing from every aspect of writing. The other irons in the fire generally keep me from writing as well as I could if I gave myself to such considerations. I am a warehouseman. That is how I pay my bills. Most writers do more than to write to pay their bills. I am also a churchman. I am an officer in the church I attend and presently I am also involved as we look for a new minister in the search committee. Early in the year where I work we worked a couple of months of 72 hour work weeks. I am not sure I have ever fully recovered. I am sure that each of my responsibilities could have been better attended and performed. Lately there have been times when I just wanted away from everything. As I look towards my two week vacation I can begin to imagine myself getting to a better state of mind. I can imagine myself finding a better plan to meet my responsibilities and to seek to pursue this passion. I don’t think we are necessarily guaranteed the ability to do our passion in life as our vocation. Most people in this world are simply not privileged enough to get to choose to do whatever is on their heart. I do think however if God has placed something upon our heart we ought to give it some expression. When Vincent Van Gogh picked up brush and put it to easel, without a lesson he probably didn’t know if that was to be a passion alongside his ordinary vocation or would become his new vocation. If it is a passion it will be something to be done for that most special five minutes of the day or as a vocation for many hours in a week. I will make room for writing, which is for me a passion. I have the suspicion it will never pay my bills. But hopefully when the next two weeks are done I will feel more capable in mind, heart, soul, and strength to pursue my vocation, my responsibilities, and my passion. If you are weary I hope you are beginning to establish a strategy to get the rest you need to pursue what you need and want to pursue.

            I didn’t expect to stay around the house for my vacation. Originally I planned to attend the Glen Workshops in Santa Fe, New Mexico this year. But as this deep seated weariness and sense of being overwhelmed hung over me – I realized I needed rest and healing, and a restructuring of my life to move forward. A few weeks ago I let the sponsors of the workshop know I would not be attending. I had already paid for room and board, so I asked that instead of asking for a refund or a partial refund that they might find someone who could not otherwise attend the workshops. In a short time I received a wonderful letter regarding how there was a person that quickly came to mind. The person who will be taking my place has been through some difficult times. It will be for the person not only an opportunity to pursue desires in the arts, but also to get some healing following an ordeal. It made me happy. God works these things out. As much as I would have loved to soak in the times at the Glen, I really need rest and restructuring in the simplest of ways. But there was someone for whom in addition to the Glen being a place to grow in the pursuit of the arts; it will also be a place to get away and get a new perspective. Our souls needed healing, but we needed distinct remedies.

            I want especially in this letter to give a shout out to Tina Osterhouse, who I follow on Twitter. I am reluctant to describe someone I have never met as a friend, but Tina is certainly an appreciated acquaintance. Lately I have been fretting about my writing style and so many other things in life. She gave writers some wonderful advice last week or the week before. It proved to be so simple it became an encouragement to me that I was going to be able to get through this patch where I only felt tired and weary. I hope some of you who are reading this blog will find these words as simple, wise, helpful, and perhaps even healing as I did.

            “There is nothing new under the sun. Don’t try to be original. Write as honestly as you can, with as much integrity as you’ve got. Come at your work from your own slant, your neighborhood. It’ll be original because it’s your work, not because you tried to be original.”  – Tina Osterhouse.

            That seemed to me to the perfect piece of advice. Our originality flows from how God has made us unique as human beings. We have our own distinct DNA, our unique history, the mix of things we have done and seen, and the philosophies and ways of life which have appealed to us. Our uniqueness is not based so much on how we generate something utterly different from anyone else, but rather our uniqueness rests upon who we are and all that we have seen, done, and experienced. Or as Oscar Wilde once advised, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”

            That is all I have for tonight. Next week hopefully I will be getting that rest and restructuring I need. If you need that, in whatever way you need to take care of yourself – please do so!

            May the Lord bless each and every reader.